Monday, June 2, 2014
Surprise! :)

Hey! Decided to dedicate this post to u. that is, if u happen to see my blog. which u don't now. so all the more u will be surprised when u chanced upon this!

when we first got tgt, it was because of our common interest - music.
however, as time flies, i realise there were so many differences between us!




here's the best part that u've been waiting for!

What i love about him (which makes him a rare catch) 

1) He is very romantic and surprises me alot. 

whenever i come back from a family trip, he'll surprise me with something. my fav macdonald's froggie hellokitty, and this time its a cutey dog that i've wanted!!!


2) He made me feel beautiful every single moment.

even without make up on. he says i look good without make up and appreciates when i put on make up saying both suits me.

recently, i wore a new top that i was excited about and i went up to him and said "tada!". he replied "wow! this is nice". then as i probe more, i realise he actually don't like it but didnt say it out. infact after much probing he confessed that the top is "weird". what?! LOL. appreciate him so much for hiding it from me to make me feel beautiful!

even when im inconfident about my body, he told me i am perfect and i was thinking too much.

even when i both unintentionally and intentionally fart, burp, blow my nose infront of him, he still didnt mind and still accepted me. oops haha.

3) He cooks for me and washes for me.

when im tired and lazy. even when he had a long day.
he always tries to improvise by adding in my fav banana into milo spread bread and once he did that into our omelette and i was furious becus it didnt taste good. oops. my fault. thinking about it, it was so hilarious. who put banana into omelette?! love is blind. it blinds ur taste buds sam. just becus i love bananas, doesnt mean i want it in any and every food. haha! i only heard or banana prate (my fav), not banana omelette my dear!

4) He massage me.

when im tired and aching even after his long day. such as my leg sore and my bluebacks. i have many bluebacks every now and then because of my clumsiness.

5) He gives in to me in fights.

almost always.
even when i gave him a forgiveness privilege card to flash when im angry, it still didnt work becus my rage overcame my self control.
so ke lian to be my bf... :(

6) He makes all the big decisions for me.

like BTO choice of flats and registration. he's also in charge of our bank savings where he would research which bank have the best interest to save for our wedding fund. i know lately he haven been saving for the wedding fund becus he's saving for the proposal fund (kekeke).

7) He encourages me when i am down.

spiritually when i feel dry. or when i feel tired to serve or to make an effort.

8) He allows me to decide his hairstyle.

many guys wouldnt allow this. but he allowed me yeah!
he prefer comfortable near botak hairstyle but i prefer better looking ones so i'll dictate how he'll cut it. oops.

9) He gives me alot of security because he protects me.

one reason why i decided to go out with him is because he gives me a great deal of security when he leads and guides me. he's good in directions while its normal for me to be lost. i can get lost on the way to school even when i've schooled at IJC for 2 years. its not normal but its normal for felicia's routine.

im blur ,clumsy, easily trusting. he would scold me when i am overly friendly to people and especially guys. in my perspective, i think they're rather ke lian so i would try to be friendly. but he told me otherwise, that they have ulterior motive to get near me. when he scold me seriously for over trusting people who are potentially getting close to me for an ulterior motive, i feel very secure that he protects me as he can see through my blind spot.

10) He plans for our future. almost everything. he leads me.

where we would stay (in the east), how we'll get the loan etc.
banks savings

and small areas in our lives as well.

11) He'll go for food that i like even when he don't like them. 

when i feel like easting jap food and he don't, he'll still pei me go.
when he has  a craving for hawker food and i wanna go to an air con place to eat, he'll still pei me.
when i am stress and wanna have good food and he's on a low budget, he'll accomodate his best.

but occasionally i would follow his cravings also la. take turn. but usually the food he like would be oily and fried so i don't really like. it is usually in the hawker where its hot also.

12) He soothe me during my cramps.

when i have cramps, it can get really really bad. i would need to lie down for a long time. i would make alot of noise because its painful. all our plans have to be cancelled because of it.

instead of getting angry and impatient, he would patiently soothe me. a creative way that he thought of was to fill hot water into his rubber or plastic army water bag and place it on my adominal area and saiyung me. it really works! but still take hours though. he would also make hot drinks for me.

13) He has a huge amount of faith in God.

it can get pretty heart aching at times because when he felt the calling to give a faith offering and a huge amount for us for building fund as well as giving away things that we like, he would never hesitate and he would really give.

it's a great deal of struggle for me. many times it costs my tears. but ultimately i went ahead with it because he was so sure about it. this went for the whole 2 years in our relationship. i question him, why he got so much faith to give when nothing seems to be sprouting after so long? he just say he believe in God. and true enough, his breakthrough came after 2 years later. 2 years is long man. to me. but to him, he saw through that 2 years. he believed it would come and endlessly gave to God. finally 2 years later, Samuel prospered financially! a miracle!

from a pay of $2000, 2 years later, his pay rose to $3500! it was not a gradual change, it was really from $2000-$2100 rose next to the straight $3500! no kidding. he's now highly favored by his bosses at work. he's the marketing manager now, doing all the things he like, design, hardware. all that he love. seriously, for someone who haven gotten his degree, yet earning $3500, is really a blessing! this meant that our plans in life can advance faster already. thats what sam said. :) looking forward!

i asked him, wow! how come u saw through all these and kept giving? what give u the patience to give? he just say he believe and trust in God. and when i say he give, im not talking about our usual offering, or tithes. im talking about his huge faith givings that cost our tears.

God is indeed highly praised for this miracle. it's so obvious that God worked in sam's life. when sam prosper, i prosper too :)

through this incident, it made me realise how possible everything is to God. and he really treasured our faith givings.


but lately i realise he is less patient with me already. i guess, people have their limits. it makes me feel that he love me less, but i know its not true. he've got so much on his hands at work and school.

so what did i do for him? sadly, im not romantic, im practical. im indecisive, im not sweet. im just... me :/ don't be duped by appearance. im not at all the girfriend material. so what did i do to deserve all these? i don't know. but he'll say, me being there is the best gift already. so thankful to God for preparing Samuel for me even before i was born. someone who complement my flaws. to guide and lead me. so happy to be going through the same phases in life.

really excited til the day he propose to me. i probed about the date. but he refuse to say. so sad. ya like durh. but i know it'll be soon. that's all i get from him. he says that when the day arrive, i'll be very touch because its a special meaningful date and i'll finally understand why he treat me this way or do certain things a particular way. i dont understand.....

awaiting that day's arrival!!

i love u dear mr sinn! :D

enjoy our casual shoot photos! great to commemorate our dating days! happy 2 years plus of being tgt dear!

















i love this shot below, where he hug me close while we look into each others eyes. kind of awkward as it brought me back to how shy we both were before we got tgt :)









Posted at 11:05 PM

Handwriten by Felicia.L



Monday, July 29, 2013













Posted at 3:25 PM

Handwriten by Felicia.L



Friday, April 5, 2013


Hey there, i am back! :)

i have so much to say. so much to thank God for.

Salvation and Health still are the priorities and at the top of my wish/prayer list.

Thank God really much that He once again healed my mom! the lump in my mom's throat is just post-surgical implication which will heal by itself! it's nothing to be worried about as said by the doctor. i am really happy :)
now my mom can continue on her radio therapy alrdy. hehe. :D

God is still in control after all. im really glad :)

bad news that more people another close and loved one of mine got cancer. My ah yee gonna remove her whole womb. why must sufferings be allowed? and why am i asking this when i have read so much about just why suffering is allowed... oh God, i believe u can heal my ah yee too. she's like my godma to me since young too. heal her and be with her. give her comfort and plenty of rest and grace and protection. :)

for my own condition, well, i shouldnt call it a condition, its not anything to start with. i know its due to my negativity, as long as i start to be positive again, stamp on all that stressors, it'll be gone. studying too much on psychology really can drive me crazy. i tend to think tooooo and just way toooo much. i learnt that i should not stress so much on myself and blame myself for most things that happen in my life. i have no part in some of them and i have no power to control them too. i wish that i can learn to have a balance locus of control instead of always being internal-attributing.

Oh God, honestly, as much as how i thought i do not deserve ur blessing, please bless me. pls heal me. pls heal me emotionally, physically. renew my mind and renew my body physically. help me to stay positive and throw my burdens into ur hands. May u give me strength to withstand and resist to entertain any negative thoughts God. God, may u take away this lump in my right breast and bless that the doctor will review to me good news! i confess that i am healed and i do not require any therapy! oh God i am perfectly healthy and healed by ur stripes! thank u Jesus.

Too many people have been sicked this decade, but God's power is ever more glorified. God's grace is evermore shown to people who both deserve and do not deserve them. oh God, wont u just cure everyone especially my loved ones and protect them? i thank u for doctors and medication, platforms that displays ur healings.

recently my best best infact perhaps my only friend, just departed just alittle further from me. oh how i wish she will not go, it really really hurts me so badly knowing i cant see her as much as i wanted. i took it for granted when she was still hanging around. dont misunderstand, she's not dead, just she has moved to another place that is just further for me to meet her. its so comfortable when she was still attending together with me weekly.I miss her really much. when i look around in service last last week. i almost cant help but to cry. i know i should support her, but i really hope God this is the right choice she made and it will bring her ever more closer to u, may it be a very edifying place for her to be in.

God it seems like many things has not been going right according to what i had just typed. But thats not true, so many other things and parts of my life are blossoming. and i continue to thank u for that.

i have such an understanding mate that accompanied through my tough tides in life. he who always pops surprises in my life has been very very very good to me. i really cant ask for anyone better, he is the one. recently we just celebrated our 1 year anniversary. yes we quarrel alot. but its just becus we're both insecure, growing from my seemingly-thought-from-psychology-concepts "anxious-ambivalent' childhood". nah, we'll grow out of it as we aged. and as God's love fills us each day, we'll no longer be insecure innately. our chats our discussions our bicker and even quarrels pulls us even closer and tightens us ever more, building a stronger foundation to our relationship. i thank him for always pulling me back to u. our discussion about u, and what he shares to me about u, really make sense and most of the time encourages me. thank u for a Godly man and a faithful man.

i have started to earn my own allowance. its not easy. thank u God, for providing me with jobs when i needed them desperately. thank u so much!

This year is so different and even more tougher! but may i not forget about u God. may i not be crushed down nor swept away from u. Send ur holy spirit to remind me of ur goodness that endures forever. i lift my burdens to u God.

Continue to bless my family, heal my sister emotionally too. God i let u be in control. take care of my family.
thank u for reminding me to go back to my hiding place. i really needed it.

woah...so much to do everyday. my life is so packed. school, tuitions, weekend packed with church stuff...... awwwwww......i really need a breather. i need a break. i need rest. i need get aways. i need a fresher. i need to FLYYYYYYYY~~~~~~~

But God i know this is good training, but im tired and stress of all those piling school work. help me to conquer them wisely. oh ya, ive been waiting for the scholarship interview. may i get it and receive the scholarship God. to ease my family financial burdens!! may the principal and chairmans gain favour over me. thank u Jesus!

even though dear has started working fulltime and studies part time, im really glad that we could still meet up most of the days! its really a great blessing, the distance the transport the time, all the conveniences, i thank u for them!

yeah cg mtg is starting alrdy. looking forward to worship you. its been long. but u never fail to give me hope.


No one calls me beautiful like you, 
And i love how u say it too.
Every word from u is filled with wonder, 
I wonder why u love me, but u do.
I would be a fool to argue with u
Maybe i'll be wasting my time
You've given me ur word and based on what ive heard
You must love me really love me. - Rachel Chan (You must love me)



Posted at 6:08 PM

Handwriten by Felicia.L



Friday, November 16, 2012


guess what! it had been so long since i update my dear bloggy. time really flies. im turning 21 soooooon!!! in 3 more mths. what can i say,  i am grateful towards God for giving me a new life after i entered into 2012. i got enrolled into a course that i like, my school fees are paid by my mom, i still get allowances, i get more opportunities to perform/open doors, i found a great partner! yes! i have a boyfriend!

this is so overwhelming. Felicia have a bf? yes this news shocked all my besties. it never crossed their mind that i would ever have a bf. cus im chor lor, cus im rough, cus im just...dont know, weird, cus i dont really take interest in any guys previously who tried to hit me, cus i just feel disgusted at guys (no offence). fine with them if we were friends, but no no for anything further. its like the moment they approach me and when i sense something, i will shoo and shoo and shoo like i dont know them. and finally my mom's wish had came thre, i shocked myself, i shocked my girlfriends. muahahahaa, i finally accepted the 1st guy of my life!!! i dont know why dont ask me. its just that he is a very very fun guy, too fun actually. and funny too. and takes very very gd care of me almost like we're married. and he treasures me alot. he wooed with all his personalised efforts and there there... im his's now. lol!! so cheesy right.. this is so overwhelming to me until now. i still cant believe i am actually normal. i thought i may never get married nor get attached. i thought my sisters and my besties inacurrate prophesy will come thru - felicia is gonna be the last to get attach. yes! i beat them to it! muahahahahaa.... they cant believe when i announce to them, they thought it was an april fool joke. LOL!

and its going 8 mths since we're tgt.. WOW. sorry i am still overwhelmed by my guts to actually step into a r/s. muahahahaha

i guessed this year has been a breakthru year for me! God really gave me alot of grace. in my studies, in my finances, in my opportunities, in alot of areas of my life especially abt balancing and my family! Really thank God for his abundant grace. even thou i do nag, i do get disapointed at times. but He just never fail to accept me. phew~ and yep, its great to have a pillar to run back to any time :)

many things happened this year, family, studies..my new changes in life. cant do it without the 3 men in my life.

1) my father in heaven (His grace and watchfulness)
2) my earthly father (for his financial support/guidance in r/s)
3) my boyfriend (for his physical and emotional support including his wise guidance)

thank God for saving and HEALING my mother.

Thank u Jesus, for this adventure in life. well i hope i can say that becus of the various tough times ive been thru, i leant many more things than others. but sad to say, i really still have aloooooot to learn. i need to learn to be patient, wise, forgiving, balanced, generous.

nevertheless, thx u Jesus for this trip in my life :)





Posted at 11:15 PM

Handwriten by Felicia.L



Friday, February 10, 2012


God i need strength! abundance of strengths and rests! :)

Posted at 2:34 AM

Handwriten by Felicia.L



Tuesday, January 31, 2012
The Lord is good to me!

"The Lord is good to me and so I thank the Lord!
For givin' me the things I need,the sun and rain and an appleseed,
Yes, He's been good to me.

I owe the Lord so much,for everything I see,
I'm certain if it weren't for Him, there'd be no apples on this limb.
He's been good to me.

Oh, here am I 'neath the blue, blue sky, A-doin' as I please!
Singin' with my feathered friends,Hummin' with the bees.
I wake up every day,As happy as can be
Because I know that with His care My apple trees, they will still be there.
Oh the Lord is been good to me."

WHAT A MARVELOUS AND BEAUTIFUL YET FULL OF TRUTH SONG!

how true that God has been so good to me!
i kicked start my first day of sch today in psychology. and i really LOVE this course!
i finally found something that really interest me beside music :)

its been one year since i last studied in a school. i have spent my entire year working and resting.
many different jobs i took up. teachers in various special school and primary school.
took up what i didnt expected to do - help out and teach in my old innova jc 's cca. work as a referee and more which i was willing to try.
so mamy dozens of job i took up. and what for? ultimately i just want to try out loads of diff genres of jobs to have a cleaer idea of what i LIKE and what i am CALLED to do. hmm and guess what, i really had an idea now.

i have no idea how i got to where i am now. its really miracles after miracles! open doors after open doors! i mean, i used to pray when i was younger like 5 years ago, for God to use me and stuff like finding out my destiny. and i work all my strength out an even strategize and plan my route by taking up certain stuffs like cca and etc. but hey, i got NOTHING MUCH. not becus i didnt pray, infact i did prayed.

whats wrong? i depended on myself. where's God in the whole picture?

i am sooooo thankful for God for giving me another chance to almost relive the life that i thought its impossible for a moment. so many things happened in the whole of last year. many people criticized, humiliate, shame me by giving many redudant comments. and best of all, they are my family members. what could be worse?

i felt my only friend then was Jesus. i am so glad i chose to go back to my first love. i thought casually today whil in the bus and in lecture. perhaps this is part of His's plan as well! that i enter SIM psych, becus this is interest, the best course that fits all my strengths and put it to good use. i always know that i have a strong passion in children and in elderly. i have thought of going into special school and almost took up teaching long term there! and yet suddenly against all odds, or perhaps its not coincidents, but thru the guidance of the holy spirit that i got here today.

i hav never ever thought of entering JC once, i have never ever thought of going SIM, never ever thought i would favour psychology. in fact, i dont even know why i get thru all these! it is truly his plans.

Job 23: 13-14
But once He has made his decision, who can change his mind? Whatever he wants to do, he does. So He will do to me whatever he has planned. He controls my destiny.

Ephesians 4: 1-4
Therefore, I a prisoner for serving the Lord, beg u to lead a life worthy of your calling, for u have been called by God.

right now there so many things i have to balance on both of my little brittle hands.

i dont know how in the world am i gonna balance them. studies in SIM, teaching and helping out in choir and musician club in ijc, teaching to the special kids in Minds, worship practices and recordings, new band practices,wedding band practices, visiting and spending time with my family. there are so many things!

and guess what makes it "worse", its that i am on my "own" where im so called in charge of most of the events happening in my life. of course im alittle scare, but i KNOW AND I KNOW AND I KNOW THAT ITS NOT BY STRENGTH AND NOT BY MIGHT, BUT BY THE POWER OF THE HOLY SPIRIT! :)

I really really need God's strength this year. Jesus, provide for me the strength, the wisdom, the rest that i need!

"Every seed I sow will grow into a tree and soon there'll be apples there for everyone in the world to share.The Lord is indeed good to me, using someone as small as me.

God bless u and Ciao! :)

Posted at 12:29 AM

Handwriten by Felicia.L



Saturday, December 24, 2011


this year has been fruitful. :)

though i had been thru many many obstacles and challenges, i have also been blessed alot with many breakthroughs.

God is good to not just give us a life with ups and downs, but a life with ups and down CONCURRENTLY so we do not lose hope when one part of our life gets down. :)

Although i did not achieve some of my goals i set for this year, but i have gotten nearer to them.
and i have just thought of new goals to set for the year 2012! yipee!

1) grow closer spiritually to Jesus thru completing my reading of the bible and having consistent quality time with God. (it is really quite dissapointing that i did not finish reading even new testament, but fear not, its a new morn everday, new day to set new targets. i do not want to tell God i have not finish reading his word when i get to heaven. since the end time is nearing i got to prepare myself and really finish reading the bible. and not just reading, i meant real studying of the word! woohooo! ) And of course, i figure out reading the word is just not enough, i have to really pray more, even fast more consistently, so that i would really learn to rely FULLY (100%) on God in all areas of my life, in such a way that i really depend on Him. i have been telling myself to keep the faith but realise i always end up with looking at things in a physical level, where i think its impossible or challenging. instead, i should look thru the lens of God, and really trust that he will give me strength, and no just that, He will also help me to turn the "impossible" into possibles! i feel this is my main priority and main goal or perhaps no.1 goal of 2012. my mother/girlfriends are asking me to quickly get attatched with a boyfriend. but i haven even get my spiritual life in place yet, how could i do that? at least thats what i feel at this point of time. (pardon me, like what i created this blog for, i meant for it to be a reflection page, where i pen down my words and confess literally thru typing. so whatever that i wrote here are sorta saying to myself. so it gets draggy haha)


2) compose songs for God.
actually at this point of time, judging on my abilities, hmm... i am alittle ashame to even say this. hmmm, but like what pastor shared today regarding the guy paul pott (winner of britain got talent) , when people dont listen to his voice and dont appreciate him, he turns and sing to God, telling himself that if others dont listen to him, God will still be there to listen to him. what i am trying to tell myself is that even if i am not very good as seen by physical eyes, Jesus will still listen to me, and appreciates me. right? and anyway, the songs are For Him. gifts to Him. sang to Him with my heart. haha! :D

3) gets my grandparents, uncles and whole household to be saved!
talking about this, it really makes me feel dissapointed or even "sian" now, to pursue this goal. things are totally not looking good in this aspect, BUT God can and WILL work miracles in my household. for he said "when one is saved, the whole household shall be saved!" so who knows, God knows that my whole household, my dear grandparents,cousins,uncles,aunties shall be saved!!! :)

4) maintain a spirit/ attitude of "shamelessness"
by being not ashame of stepping out to being what God has called me to be. i really want to get rid of my "paiseh" attitude of thinking im not good enough all the time. instead incorporate the mindset of "i will be glad to boast about my weaknesses and persecutions. so that the power of Christ can work thru me, for when i am weak, i am STRONG".

5) appreciate what i have, rather than focusing on what i dont have.
i wanna stop looking and scrutinizing at what i dont have, which i tried to tell myself that i have when i know that i actually just dont have it. sad to say right. haha. instead, i should focus all my energy and strength on what i already have, and make it better, to glorify Him. i should really believe that when he have given me this specific talent, as long as i ask and believe, He would really inject the FULLNESS of Christ (all the talents,attitudes,gifts,compassion...) into my tiny physical body! so that i can fully MAXIMISE what he have given me to do good for his kingdom. well i am actually talking about the special voice that God has given me to sing. i find it hard sometimes to confess out to people that i sing. but i felt rebuked. why should i be ashame man? if this is what He has given me, i should all the more use it, glorify Him with it. i should be no longer me, but more of Him in me. of course needless to say that He will guide me on how to use it. :)

i have alot more to say to sum up my goals and what i learnt this year, my visions and so much more! wait till next time! )

ciao!

Posted at 2:22 AM

Handwriten by Felicia.L

# Felicia Lee
# 19, valentine baby 140292
# cityharvest church
# schooled at Innova JC
# serving God whole heartedly
# love the color green!
# loves God
# loves my sisters,mommy papa,ah ma ah gong
# loves jamming
# u could say hi to felicia lee xue er on facebook
# for my whole household to be saved! # get good grades for "A" level! which i think i did alrdy :D
# to be happy everyday
# get a family makeover protrait
# earn lots of money when i grow up
# buy a big house for whole family to stay with ah gong ah ma
# able to make everyone else around me happy too
# have my own room and my own walk in wardrobe



sis, Eugenia
jaw
xiuyin
weetong
ck zone
chormay
chunfu
jason lam
jianhui
patricia
thomas
joseph
seah hui
rina
shari
yeexin
yong qiang
xue ting
evan
cindy
genesis
lillian mom
jun xian
ai ling
yu pin
justin
shurong
yanxin
michelle
terence,kangming
joshua
cadman
cousin en rui
sis, joy
sis, gladys

February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 August 2010 December 2010 January 2011 May 2011 June 2011 July 2011 August 2011 September 2011 October 2011 December 2011 January 2012 February 2012 November 2012 April 2013 July 2013 June 2014

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